.......... "INLAWS and OUTLAWS" .........

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Usually I will never share this, but I cannot resist the temptation of blessing someone else with my story;
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A few years ago I was in a relationship with this awesomely immaculate lady, Lord! She was and still is one hell of a super woman. One time she came over at our house as usual and stayed the weekend. Mom knew she was coming over, so she made us some stew. That night, mumsy was watching her favorite Papa Ajasco TV series in the living room, and so she asked her to boil some rice since we already have stew.
Now let me tell you a bit about my mom and her rice; She likes her rice scooped from the top of the pot and broken down in pieces into single grains, NOT served in clusters or block. I knew that.. My dearest didn't know... I knew I should have gone into the kitchen to see how she was going to serve the rice, but the Papa Ajasco was just too interesting for me to remember.
Long story short. The rice was ready, and served in BLOCKS!
When I saw it, hmmm, I immediately removed myself from the sitting room, because I knew what was coming. Well, mom called her and spoke to her about it, while I peeped through the bedroom door to listen. When she came in, I pretended like I didn't know what had happened, so I asked her what my mom said to her, the first thing she said sounded like "your mom thinks I don't know how to cook, how can she be telling me that I don't know how to serve rice?" ... Then I said "but I was listening and she didn't say anything wrong, she was only advising you like a mother." that was when she replied with the
most shocking statement ever; "IS SHE MY MOTHER?"... Now I knew she was upset and it came out in the heart of the moment, but com'on, nothing comes out of your mouth without first occupying space in your heart.
Later that night when everyone was asleep, I sneaked into my moms room to speak to her. I appreciate what she was trying to do, but I acknowledge she didn't go about it the right way. She's my girlfriend, I know her tolerance level, I know her temperament level, I know how best to speak to her, and when it's best to catch her in a good spirit, I know that, but my mom doesn't. And that is the biggest challenge with mother in-laws, I wish they could all understand that they only have control over their sons, because that's who they know like the back of their hands, not their wives (or girlfriend as the case may be).
I spoke with her kindly, if she has any issues with the woman in my life she should come to me about it first, not her. She could have told me about how she served the rice, she's my woman, and at such am the only one who knows how, when, and where best to talk to her.
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Dear Mother in-laws;
It will save us a lot of inlaw strife if we can understand this. We are not saying don't talk to our wives about some concerns you might notice about her, what we ask is that you talk to us about it first, as a matter of fact you will need our help on how best to talk to her, and most times you wouldn't even need to talk to her, we will do it ourselves.
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Dear husbands;
The reason why your mother have so much power over your marriage and what happens in it is because you permitted it while you were still in a relationship or courting your wife. You watched your mom talk to your woman anyhow she pleases, you watched her correct every little thing she does, many times without even your knowledge of it. But you did nothing to stop it. Now you're married and you expect your mother to stay away from your marriage after giving her
so much power over your wife? It's not possible, you permitted it from the onset, so now your mother is comfortably playing the role of a supervisor and legal counselor over your marriage, correcting and dictating how your wife runs your own home, because you gave her so much power to do so.
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Dear potential husbands;
Put your foot down as a man, and make your mother understand that you alone reserve the rite to talk to your woman about a concern, if she must talk to her, she must talk to you about it first, it will save you a lot of trouble in marriage, trust me. Make her understand this with love and respect, just like I did, and not with strife and disrespect.
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Dear potential wife;
The main reason why you're having problems with your mother in law is because you have refused to see her as your own mother. You get upset when she corrects you because your mind has ready been set to the feeling that "she cannot talk to me, she is not my mother".
I remember when I was still very little and my mom will shout and spank me over a tiny mistake, in my heart I used to say my mother was wicked, or that she doesn't like me, but in the middle of all those naive thoughts that didn't stop me from laughing and playing with her the next minute, it didn't change my love for her, it's same way with mother in-laws. If you can forgive your own mother for talking to you anyhow and you cannot forgive your mother in-law for doing the same then that means you have not started seeing her as your own
mother. If you carry the mindset that your mother inlaw is your man's mother, then you will never connect with her, when you made the decision to be with her son you adopted her as your own mother, and vice versa, so love her like your own, treat her like your own, forgive her like your own, ignore her rants like your own, and be nice to her just like your own, if you can understand this, your marriage will be a blessing.

Airtime Giveaway

Airtime giveaway is coming up before noon.
make sure you are watchful and remember to write your number after your answer

She isnt a perfect woman

She isn't perfect, but if you're gonna date her, you're dating her imperfections. You're dating her flaws. You're dating her complications. You're dating her temper. You're dating her insecurities. You're dating her trust issues. You're dating her randomness. You're dating her immaturity. You're dating her weird
sense of humor. You're dating her attitude. You're dating her jealousy. You're dating her lack of confidence. You're dating her low self-esteem. You're dating her low tolerance for bullshit. You're dating her extremely sensitive soul. You're dating her dramatic past. You're dating her painful history. You're dating her confused mind. You're dating her damaged heart. You're dating her negativity. You're dating her stress. You're dating her depression. You're dating her twisted logic. You're dating her craziness. You're dating her habit of jumping to conclusions. You're dating her need to assume the worst. You're dating her inability to be positive. You're dating her fear to fully love someone, again. But hey, if you don't think you can handle all of that, please......don't bother!!!!

"GOD-FEARING IS NOT A QUALITY"

If only you knew how much time you have wasted searching for a God-fearing partner. If only you knew how many potential life partners you have missed because you're too busy looking for a good Christian Jesus loving God-fearing partner.
Listen guys, I wish someone had told you this before now, but the first thing you need to know is that "God-fearing is not a quality to look out for in a potential partner, no it isn't, because God fearing is not a quality, it is a NATURE!
Let me make this easy for you:
If I cannot see, feel and be convinced that you love and fear the Lord, I will not be attracted to you in the first place, you can't even catch my interest, you cannot excite me, I'll barely take notice of anything about you... you know why? Because I am not looking for a God-fearing partner among "people", naaa, rather, am looking for a COMPATIBLE partner among "God-fearing people", that's how far my eyes can go, anything outside that circle is not for me...
Hmmm did someone catch the difference?
It's like this;
If what am looking for is a particular kind of Lion, it is a complete waste of my time searching in a Club of Antelopes, the first ideal place I should look is in a Den of lions, that is the only place I can find the lion that fits the description am looking for.
What a lot of people do is this;
They go searching for a God-fearing partner (lion) in a club of antelopes with a list full of things like :must be fierce, must love hunting, must be very hairy, must have strong bone breaking claws and sharp flesh tearing teeth, must be the king of the jungle, etc.. Oh dear, you'll never find that kind of Antelope anywhere, and even if you do, that antelope already knows that what you're looking for is a lion, so they'll pretend to be everything you want in a lion, and after your heart is won, they'll go back to their original self, an ANTELOPE.
That is exactly what a lot of us do, we write all kinds of things we are looking for in a life partner; must be God-fearing, must be spiritual, does not smoke, does not drink, a faithful tither, passion for Kingdom things, must study the Bible, must pray and fast, etc.. And then we go looking for a partner that posses these things in a world full of antelopes. Naaa, these things are not necessary, you know why? Because if I am looking for a COMPATIBLE partner among God-fearing people I don't expect to find these things amongst them (Ephesians 5:3), God-fearing is not a quality people possess, it is WHO THEY ARE, it is a NATURE that people carry, you cannot carry the nature of God and still be a drunk or an alcoholic, or not be a faithful tither, or not have passion for Kingdom things, or not study the word,
pray and fast, it cannot happen, so I don't worry myself about all that, the nature of God in you have already taken care of that for me.
I mean, I don't go looking for a God-fearing man in a group of 5 men, or a God-fearing woman in a group of 5 women, that is wrong, what am looking for is a "compatible" partner in a group of 5 "God-fearing women"! That is the big difference. Did somebody catch this?
So stop looking for a God-fearing partner among antelopes, go to the Den of God-fearing people and find the one that is suitable for you, that's the secret.. And if you cannot find anyone compatible among your Den of lions, the Lord said I should tell you this............... KEEP INCREASING YOUR CIRCLE!

A GOOD WIFE

Being a good wife goes beyond taking care of the family and managing the home, as many women tend to think.
Many women do so many good things but fall into these traps to ruin all their efforts:
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1. BEING OVER-DEMANDING
A lot of women have the habit of not being contended; they tend to demand for even more than the man has to offer. Many women tend to do this because their attention is on what other women are doing, rather than face their own homes. Don’t fall into the trap of asking for more than what your man can offer.
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2. NAGGING AND COMPLAINING
It’s hard to see a wife who doesn’t nag and complain; nagging and complaining are toxic habits that’ll only lead to a bitter marriage. There are many ways to go about saying how you feel without nagging and complaining.
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3. FAILING TO APPRECIATE THE PREVIOUS DEEDS
Never fall into the trap of forgetting the previous things your man has done for you; always appreciate everything he does, even the little ones. Many women fall into the trap of not appreciating the little acts of love and care from their man.
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4. THE TRAP OF PROVOCATION
Do not be the kind of wife who’ll provoke her husband into being angry or making a terrible decision because of being provoked. A wife who provokes her husband to anger isn’t a wise woman.
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5. THE TRAP OF FIGHTING OVER TRIVIAL THINGS
There’s also a trap of fighting over unimportant things, things that hardly matter and things that are inconsequential. Never fall into the trap of having a fight over something little. If a little thing wants to cause a fight, avoid it.
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6. THE TRAP OF NOT BEING UNDERSTANDING
Never let self-centeredness turn you into a woman who doesn’t understand; if there’s one person in this life that you need to understand, it’s your husband.
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7. THE TRAP OF NOT GIVING BACK
Never be the kind of wife who does all the receiving; you want all the love and attention and then you fail to give back. The love and attention you desire from your husband, you must be ready to give back.
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Being the woman could be tricky in the sense that society has taught women to be on the receiving end; but women ought to give as well to make the marriage work.

Have you been Betrayed & You are now Confused ?

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Have you been betrayed by your spouse? They cheated on you with another person, and you are now so confused as to what to do? Your emotional stability is leaving you and you cant get over the disloyalty and dishonesty. I know how you feel, I've been there done it. One minute I want to forgive and move on, but I can't because the images imprinted in my mind is so thick, on the other hand, I want to scream and cry and revenge, let my partner also feel the pain I feel.
You are confused because what you thought you had is not for real, you are confused because you don't think you know your partner enough, you don't know what decisions to make, what conclusions to arrive at and what your next steps will be. Here are a few steps.
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STEP 1- You have to be strong for yourself. It's normal to cry and scream, after that, then what? If your spouse is remorseful, what do you need to do? What actions do you need to take.
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STEP 2- Take some time out for yourself, invest in yourself and something you like doing and makes you feel good. You need a lot of time to process who you are and get in touch with what you really want.
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STEP 3- God almighty is the ONLY one that can build a home, so PRAY! PRAY!! PRAY!!!
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PRAYER:
We speak that the bed of the other woman/man would reject and expel every cheating spouse. We speak strength to the cheating spouses that they will receive strength to resist the temptation of the enemy. Satan, we command you to loose your grip off God ordained marriages. We establish a wall of protection around the mind and desires of husbands and wives from being pulled into adultery. For in Jesus mighty name we pray. Amen.

"SISTERS AND BROTHERS, TAKE NOTE OF THIS"

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Ephesians 5:22-24 NKJV
[22] Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
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[23] For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.
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[24] Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
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1 Peter 3:1 NKJV
Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives,
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Colossians 3:18 NKJV
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
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There are some portions of the Word of God that some women would wish were not in the Bible. If it were possible for them, they would have erased such portion from the entire Scriptures. But unfortunately, the entire Word of God is infallible and is settled far away in Heaven.
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Therefore, such women chose to ignore the Scriptural instructions as though they were not existing at all.
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Some women would have been happier if the Bible had said the Wife is the head of the husband, because of the way they behave in their homes. Some women in the Lord are actually the husband in their home. They must dictate the AFFAIRS of the home or there would be troubles. They call the shots. They do whatever they chose to do and their husbands must not object or there would be chaos. They are the husband in the home. They have reversed the instructions of the Word of God.
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So many men of God are suffering in silence because of the stubbornness of their wives. The ministry would have scattered if they had insisted on using their authority in the home. They would agree with a lot of the foolish ideas and suggestions their wives would bring up and follow them with patience to preserve their ministry and for the sake of the church and congregation.
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They counsel other people's home but theirs is in shamble in secret.
There is a class of female Ministers who never stayed at home with their husband. They travel everywhere, being hosted in many hotels and suits all over as they minister about, eating the best of sumptuous meals provided by their hosts while their husband stay alone at home manning the local church.
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They could be away from home on ministrations for two or three months "Preaching" the gospel all over the world while their husband languish at home alone being fed by cousins, nephews or house maids. And when the husband attempt to stop them from moving or attempt to reduce their frequent "mission" trips, they would say he is killing their visions and suppressing their callings.
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They would stand behind the pulpits and podiums introducing their sermons with a praise for their husbands:
"I bring you greetings from my husband, the owner of my head. The payer of my dowries without whom I would not be here today. He sent his warm greetings", even while the man is suffering loneliness at home. Cold or hot the man is alone.
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On many occasions when the man has ministrations on mission trips, the woman would not follow because she has her own trips too. So the man is left vulnerable at all times.
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BUT WHEN THEIR IS A FALL AND IT IS MADE OPENED, FOR THERE ARE MANY SECRET FALLS, THE MAN WOULD BE AT FAULT. NOBODY BLAMES THE WOMAN! BUT GOD KNOWS THE SOURCE OF THE FALL. HE DOES NOT JUDGE AS MEN JUDGE.
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Some married women in the Lord are fond of having their ways all the time. They never submit to their husbands. They never follow their husband. They are beautiful to behold in beauty, they smile all the time, they stand beside their husband in the church, but they are not who they claim to be. They are the direct opposite at home. Stubborn, rude, unbroken, disrespectful and very stingy with their body to their husband.
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They dictate their terms to give their husbands access to their body. They are hard at home, but soft in the church. Very unsubmissive and insensitive. May God Almighty deliver men from such "Sisters".
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To all such sisters, listen to what the Lord God says in His Word:
Ephesians 5:24
Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
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What are you going to do to this verse now? You can NOT erase it. You can't wish it away from the Bible. You can NOT say God did not say it. The Lord God commands that a wife should submit to her own husband "in everything".
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Young and single brothers, watch out very well and open your eyes. Don't let the Tantalizer or Mr. Biggs love cover your eyes. Pray and let the Holy Spirit be your guide.
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When you see a Sister always wanting to have her way during courtship, MARK HER DOWN and watch her.
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When you hear a Sister saying their husband must settle down wherever she chose to settle down, and must do whatever they want him to do, MARK HER DOWN and watch her.
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When a Sister does not want to be corrected and she would flare up each time you try to direct or correct her behaviours, MARK HER DOWN and watch her.
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Hear what the Bible says:
Proverbs 21:9
Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
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READ THIS AND SHARE IT TO ALL SISTERS. SHARE IT TO BROTHERS WHO ARE SINGLES AND SEARCHING IN PRAYERS.