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Saturday, January 21, 2017

Get Help to Save A Marriage From Divorce

If you are wondering how to save a marriage from divorce, then you are probably feeling hurt and confused. You may have been feeling neglected for a while and wondering if there is anything you can do to make things better. If your marriage is breaking down and you know that you want to save it and stop a divorce then you have to take some steps to change what is happening between the two of you.

Firstly you need to take some time to think about what has gone wrong. There will often have been neglect from both sides whilst each blames the other for the problems in the marriage. Relationships tend to deteriorate over time where one or both partners neglect the things that are important to the relationship and to the other person. Resentment tends to build up slowly but surely until the situation reaches a head.

Stop and think about what has gone wrong in your marriage. Even if you blame your spouse, try to put yourself in their shoes to see how you have contributed to the situation. If you are angry, critical and blaming instead of loving and appreciating, this may be part of the reason why your partner has been unresponsive and ignoring and perhaps why they want a divorce.

How we communicate in relationships is so important and can be the difference between motivating our partner to meet our needs and turning them slowly against us. When we are able to communicate in a constructive manner, and show that we understand that the other's needs are important too this allows for negotiation and creates a win-win situation. When we blame and criticise, we are showing them that we consider our own needs more important than theirs.

To help save your marriage from divorce, it's time to change your relationship patterns and communicate in a way that shows your spouse that you appreciate having them in your life and that they are important to you. If you have neglected to put time and effort into your marriage, then you now need to find the time to make the necessary repairs. It's time for you to listen to what your partner really needs and wants from your relationship.

You have to realise that your spouse will be angry and upset too and it may take some time to change this. Start by doing your best not to let yourself get put off-balance even if they reject your attempts. If you exhibit negative emotions at this time then you could end up making things worse not better. Unfortunately our patterns are so deeply ingrained, that it is difficult to change but once we become aware, it makes it a little easier.

Talk to your spouse and tell them how you feel. Apologise for your part in the deterioration and explain that you really want to try to make things work. If they are not sure that they want to try to save the marriage, you may feel worse to begin with. But realise that you can only work on yourself and your own feelings, emotions and patterns. As you change for the better, the patterns in your relationship must change too. Keep on going, holding your head high, knowing that you are making a difference and just doing the best you can.

You may consider getting counselling to help save your marriage from divorce. The input of a neutral third-party can help to clarify and explain what is wrong in your relationship and give you ideas on how to change it. Even if you are unwilling to try counselling, you can still find plenty of advice available on the internet to help save a marriage from divorce.

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